I few years ago, I discovered that I am a jealous person. One would think that this is something that is evident early on in life, but not for me. No, my marriage opened up my eyes to my jealous tendencies. There is nothing quite like watching an inebriated 21 year old offer to let your husband “motor-boat” right in front of you. Now, to be fair, he was a bartender at a college bar, it’s what girls do with bartenders, but damn if I didn’t almost come across the table saying “motor-boat this!” Bam.
Right, just thinking about that incident gets me fired up. And, just to be clear my husband has never touched another woman, even when um…offered up the opportunity while working behind the bar.
It’s not like I’m jealous of everything…I’m not jealous of what I consider unattainable. Example, I’m not jealous of Paris Hilton’s wealth, because it’s impossible for me to ever be an heiress. I am not jealous of my friends who are naturally a size 2, because I believe that for me to be a size 2 I would have to starve myself.
Other than the proprietary jealousness of my husband, I’m mostly jealous of those around me who are succeeding in something I am not, or have something that threatens my position or status. Example (and this is so embarrassing I can’t believe I’m admitting it on the internet), someone in my family recently bought her self a coach purse. Who cares right? Congrats on buying a big girl purse that didn’t come from Ross (don’t get me wrong, love Ross). But, I was INSTANTLY jealous/upset. Why? Because I am the only one in the family with a coach purse (please, I know how absolutely dumb, shallow and pedantic this is). I wanted to be the one associated with it’s “status.” Yes, I do realize we are talking about COACH and not Balenciaga (swoon. I wish). Anyway, being petty over this tiny inconsequential thing, really knocked me on my ass and made me think about who I am, and my relationships with people. And really what is my jealousy all about?